Well, I am finishing up my semester of school in 3 weeks. Taking 18 hours has been more of a challenge than I bargained for, but the Lord has given me grace through it. My spring semester is my last. I am super pumped!!! I'll be taking 15hrs. next semester, 3 of those being an internship at Brookshires.* for those of you that don't know, that's the East Texas United* I am the "Training and Development Intern" and will be learning a lot of human resource stuff, like training employees, and community relations type activities. I feel so blessed and am excited to get some experience doing something that I think I will really enjoy.
Lately, I have been thinking about why I am finishing school. I feel like after I finish, I am obligated to go get a full time job and make myself a business woman. I put this pressure on myself I know. If I don't work then I feel like it is time to pop out the babies which I am not sure I am quite ready for either. Sometimes these thoughts can leave me feeling a bit purposeless.
I am thankful for this season. I have found that it is all too simple to try to grasp for things to make me feel like I have purpose. But how refreshing it would be if my sole purpose rested in the Lord, in his glory, in the Gospel, in life with him, and from the overflow of my heart full of HIM- came action. Sometimes it feels like in our culture we are doing whatever we can to find value in ourselves instead of first finding value in the Creator of the universe. In who Jesus says He is and what His ultimate purpose is- to make His name known!
I've been reading the book, "Don't Waste Your Life", by John Piper. One thing that has stirred desire in me is the question- Do you find your worth in how much God makes of you? Or making much of God?
I want my desire to be making much of him. It is in my sinful nature to make much of myself, this I know, but I am so thankful for the blood He shed for my weaknesses. I know He will continue to finish what He began.
1 comment:
I was involved in a small group study about a year ago. We we reading the much acclaimed "The Purpose Driven Life." Eventually, one or all of us got busy and we were unable to complete the book. This left me feeling indifferent about things. Had I discovered my purpose?
In the past few weeks, this has been stirring in my heart. I feel very useless at times because I feel like I'm not achieving my purpose, which is ultimately what you've said, making much of Him. I've had to question how to do that. Definitely thinking and meditating on Him and His Word, putting Him first, listening to and obeying the Holy Spirit within me are ways to do this. I don't believe I'm totally giving these things the place they deserve. I think we all have place to improve I this area. But this isn't what's been stirring in me most; it's been my lack of sharing about Him, about His love and grace. That's how I want to make much of Him.
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